Sakai Michiba (sakaim) wrote in allcreation,
Sakai Michiba

Title: Ambivalent Lucidity
Rating: Currently R
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Summary: When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placed under the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter.
Warnings: (Future) Violence, rape, character death, mental illnesses (Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress, Paranoid Schizophrenia), slash, Pre-HBP

Over the next few weeks, Harry was immensely pleased to receive two more names from Draco’s personalities: one, Elladora, was an immensely angry woman who would not allow Harry near her for the three full days she had full control of Draco’s body. “You’re a filthy blood traitor!” she would hiss at him, and she would lash out at Harry with fierce fists. “And your mother was a disgusting Mudblood! You deserve no better than a long, painful death!” Harry wrenched her name out of her, slapping her hard across the face and dragging her across the room by her hair when she attempted to tackle him. “Elladora!” she had screamed, “Elladora, goddamnit!” When Draco’s body slumped in Harry’s bear-trap grip, Harry dropped to his knees and helped his lover sit up, only to find that he was looking at another one of Draco’s personalities instead of his boyfriend.

“You got rid of my sister,” she whispered, and she reached up to cup Harry’s cheek with a shaking hand. “You’re a good man, Mister Potter. I would have liked to have known you longer...” She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, for which Harry inexplicably found himself feeling lightly guilty. The word “Isla” was breathed against his skin, and Harry shivered lightly before pulling away from her to find Draco, shaking and upset, lying in his arms.

“They’re...They’re all my...I didn’t think...” Draco stammered unintelligibly before he curled against Harry and promptly fell unconscious.

Harry’s eyes widened slightly, and he lifted the lithe form of his boyfriend’s body into his arms. They needed to see Madam Pomfrey, he decided, as well as Dumbledore. With three personalities gone already, he thought Draco might like to speak to the Headmaster and, if possible, the loathsome Potions master.

Poppy greeted the boys with a sad smile, and she assisted Harry in lying Draco’s prone body on the closest hospital bed. “Three personalities are gone,” Harry said with a smile, and he grinned as the nurse clapped him on the back. “Isla, Elladora, and Abraxas were their names. I don’t know how many are left, though...”

“Isla, Elladora, and Abraxas–Potter, you own the home you do and don’t know those names? You’re thicker than I thought.” The patronising voice from the doorway belonged to Severus Snape, who had seen Harry carry his godson into the infirmary and followed them in. “You DO know who they are, don’t you Potter?” He crossed his arms and leaned up against the doorframe as Pomfrey did a basic checkup on the unconscious Draco, and Harry glared at him.

“No idea, actually. Why don’t you enlighten me?” he asked with a bit of a sneer, and he took a defensive step backward as Snape pushed himself off the flat plane of the wall. “It’s not like I visit often or anything...I haven’t been there since fifth year.” Harry had no idea why he was suddenly on the defensive, but he forgot it as Snape pulled out a scrap of parchment and borrowed a quill from Pomfrey. There were a few moments of scribbling, and Harry blinked as Severus suddenly thrust the paper to him.

It was a family tree. Leading up from Draco’s name were Lucius’s and Narcissa’s names, connected to familiar names such as Bellatrix Lestrange. As Harry’s eyes trailed up the tree, he blinked as he came across the three names of the personalities that has assimilated with Draco, and he looked up to Severus. “Er...What does this mean?” he asked, a frown line appearing between his eyebrows.

“It could mean any number of things, Mister Potter, but I think we can be fairly sure that there was, perhaps, a misdiagnosis. Either that, or we have ourselves one hell of a coincidence.” Severus gave a long pause at that moment as he thought quietly to himself, and as an idea came to him, he did not speak a word before turning on his heel and taking his leave of the Hospital Wing.

Harry fought the urge to poke his tongue out at the professor’s back, and instead he turned back to face Draco, who was snoring very softly. “He seems as though he’s had it rough for a few days,” Madam Pomfrey claimed, and Harry nodded. Draco had not slept at all in the three days that Elladora had control of his body, and so Harry imagined he was quite exhausted. He took the three steps between himself and Draco’s bed, where he sat down on the stool placed by the bedside and smiled to himself as he reached out to push a few stray locks of hair away from Draco’s sweaty forehead. “Harry, you and Mister Malfoy...I don’t normally meddle in student affairs, but I must say that I’m surprised...”

Harry felt himself blushing–none of the other adults in the school had really questioned it, though he saw the inquiry burning in Snape’s eyes–and he gave a little shrug. “I figure it’s...only natural. We’ve been in close contact for a long while now, and he needs me. I think that, after a while, I guess I kind of needed him, too,” he admitted shyly, and he was pleased that the nurse did not make a face or shake her head. Instead, she lay her hand on Harry’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“Well, that’s fine, Harry,” she said with a smile, and then Harry caught the light blush that formed on her cheeks, and he chewed nervously on the corner of his mouth when she moved quickly to a filing cabinet and returned holding a pamphlet. Harry had the distinct feeling that he wanted nothing to do with it, but then it was in his hands, and he wanted to die. “Safe sex, Mister Potter, is the key to any successful relationship. You may think that because you’re both male that the risks are lower, but you would be incorrect in assuming–”

“I’ll read it, thanks,” Harry whispered, mortified, and he folded it up before shoving it in the inside pocket of his robes. He would be certain to throw it out later, if only for the fact that Draco or, worse, Ron would find it if he did not. He found himself quite unable to look the nurse in the eyes anymore, and he compensated by running cool fingertips over the gentle slope of Draco’s pale cheek. “Can I take him back? I just wanted you to have a look at him...He could probably use a few Sleeping Potions, though, if you could spare some.”

Madam Pomfrey frowned and shook her head. “Sleeping Potions can be addictive, Harry, so I’m afraid he will have to sleep naturally for a while. Natural sleep is better for him anyway, so why don’t you take him back to your room and then go have dinner with Mister Weasley? We’ve all noticed that you’ve been neglecting your friends a bit, Harry, and that’s unhealthy...” Ronald Weasley had been in to see her several times that month, asking about how Draco was doing, and she knew it was only because he wanted news about Harry. She felt badly for him, and she promised on every occasion to send Harry his way next time she saw him.

Harry looked down for a moment then nodded. “Good idea. Could I leave him here so I don’t have to carry him all the way up there then have to come back down?” he asked, and when she nodded and waved him away, she smiled and drew the curtains around Draco’s bed for privacy.

“Harry, hi!” Hermione called when he came into the Great Hall, and she moved so there was room between her and Ron, who was staring silently at Harry with a mild expression of surprise. Harry looked thin, and he suspected it was because he missed so many meals caring for Draco. Everyone heard he and Draco fighting over the past few days, and so when Harry plopped down between he and Hermione, he flung an arm around his best friend’s shoulder and grinned at him.

“Hi, Ron,” Harry said quietly, and he shot him a tired grin before he began pulling everything in sight from the middle of the table. “My God, food...” He was ravenous, and the turkey he shoved into his mouth tasted like nothing he had ever eaten. “Draco’s showing real progress...I got rid of two personalities this morning! It’s hard work, let me tell you...” He was very excited, and it showed, and Ron squeezed his shoulders with his arm.

“That’s fantastic, Harry!” Hermione exclaimed, and she poured him a glass of pumpkin juice before fixing a stray lock of his hair. “There we are. So, we were wondering, Harry, what your plans are for Christmas? Will you come to the Burrow with us?” There was no point beating around the bush, and she knew Ron would never pluck up the courage to ask. Harry nodded and grinned at her through his mouthful of mashed potatoes, and she laughed, taking his arm. “Wonderful. Molly will be so happy! She’s been pestering me to invite you and Draco for three weeks. I didn’t ever think I’d see her so excited about getting to meet a Malfoy personally, but she seems very enthusiastic about you helping him.”

Harry paused and looked at Ron, who had a very strange look on his freckled face, and he cleared his throat. “Er, does she know about me and–”

“Definitely not,” Ron interjected, the tips of his ears turning pink, and Harry found the image so amusing that he burst right out laughing and took a deep, happy sigh. He had missed his friends more than even he knew. “What’s so funny?” Ron seemed a bit miffed, and so Harry punched him amicably in the arm.

“You can get that look off your face, Ron. You seem to think that all I do is shag him...We’ve hardly kissed, really. I’m paranoid about kissing him, because any time I do, it seems that he turns into someone else. It’s very...” He trailed off and shook his head, the smile melting right off his face. “I’m very frustrated sometimes, and I know he is, too. It’s hard, going to sleep right next to him and hardly pecking him the cheek goodnight because I don’t trust myself otherwise...”

Hermione’s eyes widened a little, and she found that her cheeks were burning bright red. “I didn’t know you slept in the same bed,” she claimed, her voice slightly higher than normal, and she shot Ron a look. “I don’t know if Molly will allow it. Besides–”

“You’ll be sharing a room with me!” Ron exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face. “Don’t be making out with Malfoy with me in the room. Promise me that...” The thought of Harry even kissing Malfoy at all made Ron want to hurl, but the fact that he could possibly be in the room when it happened...It was just intolerable. When Harry burst out laughing again, Ron huffed indignantly and turned his nose up a little.

“Don’t worry,” Harry giggled, quite unable to contain himself. “I think Draco will be so off-put by staying in the Burrow that he will likely be unable to find the energy to kiss me for the entire Christmas break. And if he does...strictly above the waist, Ron. On my honour!” Harry thought Ron would throw up, and he snorted into his spotted dick before he gave Hermione a wicked look. She giggled and reached over Harry to pat Ron’s arm.

Harry had not had such a good laugh in a long time, and it was very therapeutic. He almost wished he could forget that he had to pick Draco up on the way back to Gryffindor Tower, but when his friends helped him carry the dead-weight blonde up the stairs, he did not feel so terrible. Ron and Hermione always made things better. When Draco was in bed, Harry did not even think about leaning down to kiss his warm forehead, and when he raised back up, he caught Hermione beaming at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” she whispered, and she reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand. “I’m just happy for you, Harry. I must admit, I never thought I’d see you do that to Malfoy, but it’s nice seeing you dedicated to something so thoroughly. When Ron and I got together, I know we kind of alienated you a bit.” Ron blushed a little and suddenly found his feet immensely interesting. “We’re happy for you. Both of us, even if Ron is a bit of a prat.”

“Hey!” Ron exclaimed, and he tickled her lightly before motioning to Harry. “Come on...Let’s work on that Potions essay. Malfoy can copy off one of us.” Together, the three made their way to the common room, and for the first time in ages, Harry was content and not at all worried about his slumbering boyfriend a few doors down.

Need to catch up?
Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen
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